CADRE Resources
Since most of us grew up in a culture that treats negotiation and conflict resolution as forms of competition, we have much to learn about how concerned parents and school officials can better communicate and resolve conflict. In this article, we present several exciting and challenging possibilities for improving collaboration and conflict resolution skills.
We aim to present "what works" in conflict resolution between parents and educators. The concepts presented here may be useful to parents and educators in direct collaboration, or in mediation. They may also be used in training students and others who wish to work as mediators with parents and educators.
The goal in all cases is to resolve issues in ways that will benefit the child and endure. Such cooperation not only supports the child, but also supports the essential ongoing relationship between parents and schools. Developing a quality relationship between educators and parents promises to pay continuing dividends into the future.
When direct collaboration is tried and fails, the parties may appropriately reach for mediation, a guided opportunity to reach a resolution that is acceptable to all. The effective mediator keeps the parties on course and employs methods based on the following concepts: 
PERSPECTIVES NOT TRUTH
Conflict arises when one or more participants views the current system or relationship as not working! At least one party is so dissatisfied with the status quo, that he or she is willing to speak-up in hopes of improving the situation. It is no accident that we most often find ourselves in conflict with those with whom we spend the most time -- family, friends, and colleagues. In addition to our closeness, we all have different perceptions of a situation and interpret our perceptions in terms of our sometimes different beliefs and values.
It is important to recognize that educators and parents bring different perceptions and beliefs to most situations. What is "true" for one, may not be "true" for the other. Mediators will commonly encourage an atmosphere in which participants may comfortably express themselves. The mediator cannot move forward until each participant experiences being heard. Each is supported to clearly state his or her perspective, what it is that is desired, and why. Simple expressions of perspective, however, are not enough; participants must also come away with the feeling that they have not only spoken, but have also been heard.
Once they feel heard, people in conflict are willing to consider new ways of resolving the situation. In collaboration and conflict resolution, everyone can have their "truth" and still come to agreement. Participants need only agree on arrangements for the future, not the past nor the reasons why.
CONSIDER
